Focus, Boldness, Confidence

New Blog

2006-07-09T23:06:00.000+08:00

Hey... after a long consideration... i've decided to migrate!!!!!!

Yes... migrating to www.meimeiko.multiply.com

It is still under some "renovation"... so keep looking out k?!

Aeroplane`

2006-07-08T11:14:00.000+08:00

FINALLY!!!! Finally i'm flying this year!!! almost tot i'm stuck in singapore this yr... no vacation =( ... but God is good... i go for work purposes...

hee.... really blessing leh!!! My co is sending me to HK for training... WOOHOO!!!!! surprise surprise... i thought me so low rank, never get such chances one... besides now, u know la... but my regional CFO actually sends out email indicating me to go, my manager in HK proposed one!!! hahaha....

Blessed are the children of GOD!!!! God knows everything... He knows when is the best time for everything!!!!!

(p/s: thou' last time i said i won't go back HK soon... but hor... free trip who dun wanna??? this time, i'm going disneyland... super ex! but i guess i won't go HK for leisure trip given a choice... hahaha... so this time i'll travel ALONE for the first time... exciting!!! hee...)

continuation...

2006-07-08T09:58:00.000+08:00

hmm... where did i stop??? oh ya...

when i manage to let it go... let go all my perceptions, let go of thinking why are things turning out this way, let go of thinking what's in her mind.... i felt so relieved... not totally yet... but at least i dun "peep" at her and what's she doing... (in fear that she writes anything against me, gossip against me)... the day passed smoothly...

finally the day is over... time for CG! exciting... new cg, familiar faces, anointed atmosphere... hahaha... as we were even singing the 2nd praise songs, somehow tears well in my eyes liao... during testimony time... everyone testified on how God's favor was upon each of their lives and how they've obtain man' favor too... it reminded me how much i used to testify on God's & man's favor showering in my life... soon as we enter worship... tears just flow again... hee... this time round, not becos I'm sad or pity-ing myself for whatever that has happened... but really tears of gratitude towards God how He has protected me thru' this week, how God was never too early or late to shower me with His love and assurance that He is always there...

CG sermon this week was on DISAPPOINTMENT... wow... what a timely message, disappointment on things, events and pple... so often our source of disappointment are from people... mostly due to expectations on others... during ministry time, bro isaiah wants to pray for those who are disappointed, going thru disappointments in their lives... i put up my hand... knowing God will do supernatural things, bring encouragement to me... Bro isaiah shared that whenever he is discouraged, down spiritually.. he will always sing a love song to God... when we are able to sing, we are able to lift up our burdens to God...

as i begin to sing, waiting to be laid hands on, i sang... sang a love song to God, sang in the spirit... but softly... suddenly my heart was stirred up... i want to open my mouth and sing "louder"... no words, no melody came out... suddenly tears flow uncontrollably... my heart was so grief... i sob! (yes... sob...) but as i sob, God's presence just saturated the entire living room... suddenly i began to hear God whispering into my ears...

He reminded me of Job (again)... Job encountered discouragements again and again... it didn't end just becos one had happened... I was looking @ my own life... how since i came to this job, since the beginning of this year, how i had to constantly battle with discouragement... how each time when i wanna give it all up, how God picks me up, gives me a word to assure me that everything is going to be ok... how I've battled in this race and give it all i could, only to bring in more discouragement... but God tells me that He knows it, He saw it and He know how pain is it to go thru... but He says HE IS PROUD OF ME... you know... God said that He is proud of me tat i didn't give in to this battle... how many times i could throw in the towel and say i give up... it is too hard... but I hang in there... when i heard that... songs just flow out, melody just flow... at that instance, i found new strength!

hee... then later bro isaiah ask those who haven't been prayed for to raise their hands... hee... i didn't... cos at that point... i felt new strength flowing thru' me... (hee... not because i don't want bro isaiah to pray... )

God is good... God is never late... He knows exactly what's going thru' your lives.. He knows what's your threshold and when it is beyond what you can take it... He will, definitely will bring refuge to you!!

Knowing God...

2006-07-07T00:32:00.000+08:00

Last weekend Pastor Tan preached a great msg... something that really caught my attention when he talked about Judas's attitude and mentality before he betray Jesus. He made a foolish decision because he didn't know God!!!

that really caught my attention. Judas was one of the 12 disciples, following Jesus everywhere He goes... how come he don't know God??? But I was truly captivated by what Pastor said.... "you will made foolish decision when you don't know God".

This week had been a really tough week... emotionally.... as I've mentioned in the earlier blogs... it is a tough week cos I constantly in fear that someone will backstabbed me... i kept thinking why must things turn out this way?! Mayb i too paranoid... but to all things, there must be a root to any cause... i was feeling so miserable... but God is good, ALL THE TIME

For my past few years of working, i don't recall that i ever cried in office... on tue, i broke down twice... of cos in the toilet la... embarrassing, but it was really too much to bear... but God was there when no one else was...

when it becomes unbearable, God sents help from my HK's manager to help me clear things up without even me talking abt it, she defines my jobscope and i can see that she stood on my side... when things become unbearable again... I received an encouraging email from SY!

many times when i was so down... i almost made many many foolish decisions... eg, throw in my resignation ltr, confront my "enemy" etc etc... but Praise God, each time when such thoughts come to me, immediately God rebukes that thought... He comforts me whenever He knows it is too unbearable...

Today i finally made my decision, i said a prayer of protection and letting go before i left office. Today was 1st CG, i dun want my emotions to be distracted... so i decided to let God, I'll let go... not easy... but i managed to do it... i managed to shut myself from being influenced by her words, her actions... i just concentrated on my work, focus on my lunch appt and my CG... haha... that really works!!

anyway i'm tired now... lost lots of tears just now... shall continue tmr...

~~ to be continued....

Familiarity + New Anointing

2006-07-05T23:00:00.000+08:00

Hey hey.... been blogging abt some negative things lately... forgot to blog abt this!! SUPER IMPT!!!

Lately our zone underwent a round of reshuffling of cg... my CG is one of them.... i guess the major change will be for my CGL bah... she is going to another "zone" to help take a CG, but still under Pastor Derek la...

As for me... i'm separated from my CGL and I'm going to somewhere I'm SUPER familiar with!!! hahaha... no need to guess la... you are RIGHT... i'm going to BRO ISAIAH & SIS KLESS's CG!!!! Yeah! N252!!!

wahaha... somewhere super familiar, will be super comfortable... cos they are both my best childhood friends, i'm Joey's god-mom and they have been my leaders since i started out serving God a decade ago!!!

Comfortable also cos the CG are made up of many pple i know... like kristine, gerald... they are my first CG friends I know when i 1st came to CHC years back... now we back in same CG!! then got xiaoxuan, jacky... they are the 2nd cg friends i know back in N139!! wahahaa.... familiar hor!!!

but most impt, I believe a new cg, a new change will bring about new anointing~~ I'm SURE tmr's cg will be great!!! looking fwd leh!

Other's opinions...

2006-07-05T22:31:00.000+08:00

is other pple's opinion abt oneself so important?!!!

Haizz... i'm been so so so upset @ work for the past 3 days... me shall not go into details here... too much...

Frankly speaking, i've been thinkin... am i an unlikeable person? am i an arrogant person?

many pple tell me to "act blur" and close one eye abt the whole thing... i've tried... really! TRIED VERY HARD! but still... i just can't help but to think... what have i done wrong???

At first i was so angry with that person... i've not done anything that step on the toes... i tried so hard not to tell anyone abt this in fear of being known as gossipping... but i couldn't take it anymore, i decided to tell my "twin sister" @ work... of cos i tried to be as netural as possible... and thank God for deciding to say rather to bottle it up... indeed, it helps to untie lots of knots in my heart...

i dunno how will the days ahead be like... but i know God is constantly around me protecting me from any "fiery darts", but i also got to eat a lot of humble pie now... =(

Pray for me ok?!

Sensitive

2006-07-03T20:29:00.000+08:00

Those of you who know me well enough knows that I'm a super sensitive person. Good or bad, i dunno...

Good cos' i'm sharp towards those around me, I can detect most things accurately... 80% of the time i'm right!!!

Bad cos I become paranoid!!! you know it is really an agony! sometimes how i wish i can be less sensitive!

today is the 1st working day of the month... haizz... all the busyness aside, what really discourages and disappoints me was my "colleague"... mayb should call "superior". Mayb i'm just overly sensitive or even part of me is too arrogant, that's why i felt so miserable!

perhaps part of me not very willing to "submit" to her, afterall she is not the finance manager mah... but i really dun think that's the point, the feeling tells me otherwise...

haizz... pls really pray for me la... looks like days ahead are not going to be easy...

收获

2006-07-02T20:10:00.000+08:00

这地球　能收留　伤心人多久
等着我泪流　用失去衡量拥有
那年头　你温柔　安抚我伤口
然后无怨尤　明知我想走　仍放开手

总是害怕真爱不好找以为得不到的人最好
好在遇见了你一起终老　能看得到
感动驯服我想逃的双脚实在的心跳让我明了
懂得珍惜才有收获多少

回过头　把温柔　放在我胸口
你为我加油　让我越自由　越不想走

哪天　当脚步变得沉重
给我一分钟　把泪唤回眼中
哪天　当心虚蠢蠢欲动
抬头看晴空　看见你微笑脸孔

懂得珍惜才有收获多少

a day out...

2006-07-02T00:48:00.000+08:00

it has been a long long long time since i had an eventful sat!!

the morning started @ 11am when my dad was @ the door calling my sis to open the door! haha... i jumped up thinking that no one was around to open the door but only to realise that it was 11am already!!! i wanted to go back to sleep cos i slept very late the night before... the moment i'm on the bed, i suddenly recall something horrible!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~

i forgot to run a very very impt program @ work... must do by today, if not come monday it will be very troublesome... haizz.. no choice, drag myself out of bed to go back to office... amazingly my dad told me that i can use the car!!! wahahaha... can drive to work... but parking how?! expensive!! haizz.. dun care... claim back!!!

so i rushed back to office for a short 2 hrs to run that program and do some other work before cg! PC too laggy... ended up a bit late for cg!! thank God... only miss intro to games... hahaha... today had a great cg mtg... perhaps when something is coming to an end, we tend to treasure it more...

anyway it has been a while since i dun have to rush to church after cg... haha... good thing thou'... spend a bit more time with my cg friends, especially got car today...

haha... then suddenly sis lifeng suggested sentosa!! huh??? go sentosa @ 5pm?! do what??? but it was an excellent idea... it has been so long since i went sentosa!!!

so 7 of us squeeze into the MPV and head to sentosa...

sis lifeng say we must behave like a tourist... must go try all the things a tourist will do... hahaha... so now sentosa got this new thing called the skyride... it is like those ski cable seat... so we decided to go try!!! see...

i must say it is fun... at first quite scary, especially looking down... @ first i dare not take out my phone... hahaha... but it was a relaxing ride, especially during sunset... alec was saying good for pat tok-ing!!! hahaha... so guys... got it?!

then next we head to sakae for dinner.... surprisingly the food was quite good... afterwhich we head to sunset bay to watch a performance by our church's strikeforce. They are performing for an event for sunset bay!! before that, we gals decided to have some fun in the waters!! See lisa & jennifer playing scissors, paper, stone!!

see strikeforce in action?!

next we decided to walk back to the carpark, on the way back we were toking abt our angel & mortal game... i was saying i dunno who my angel is and commented that he/she has to treat me ice-cream! hahah... i tot i dun have any angel mah... cos he/she never give me anything before... identity not disclosed@ all... haha... to my surprise, christopher was my angel!!! hahaha... he ended up treating me ice cream!!! hee... dun extort him... so i only order 1 scoop!! wahahaha...

think that's it?! NO!!!! we later head to marina sq cos alec & lisa wants to bring chris to shopping!!!! hahaha... ya, they are currently chris's fashion consultants!!!! hee...

anyway the day ended at 1130pm... will be going back to sentosa soon again... really miss the sun, beach and sand... most imptly sentosa is so different now!!!

NOKIA N72

2006-06-28T23:21:00.000+08:00

see the new photo i've put??? Nice???!!! hee... it is taken by my new HP!!

Yes!!! I bought a new HP!! I know i know... u all gonna say i change again!!!!! ya ya... cos my previous one really CMI liao!!!!

Nice??!!! heee... yES! this is the new N72!!!a pink one!!! Nice right??!! the pink is very gentle... nice... i love it! oh yes... it is NOT 3G by the way... i dun need a 3G anyway... so if u gals like... i dun mind sharing the same phone!! haha... the other color is black... stylish... but i guesss pink is better!!!

a busy day

2006-06-28T22:21:00.000+08:00

haizz... today is such a siong day!! actually at first, it was still manageable... but towards the end of the day when the things began to come, i was rushing like mad...

Sometimes i really hate this time of the mth... i really felt that it is so unfair... cos not as if i'm slow... but really... i'm right @ the final back end of the process... i was given all the things so late, yet got to finish them by the end of the day, if not then i got to stay behind... haizz... life is so unfair... yet no one really understands!! i'm beginning to hate my job!!!

sorry... just trying to "destress"... u know i really discover something today... my job requires me to really humble myself... cos i really discover that i know so little... sometimes i can get so proud & refuse to admit i'm wrong, i'm inadequate...

recently i got a new colleague, she is filling up the position that i've been eyeing on... so a part of me was quite "reluntant" to show her the things... and sometimes when she ask a bit more questions, i will be a bit impatient! very bad of me hor... but hor... i suddenly realise that before i can get to that position, there are really so much of things i need to learn!!! my gosh!!!

so u see... God has a better plan than all of us... He knows when we are ready for what... can u imagine the stress i will undergo if i was "push" unto the position i always wanted?! Perhaps it was really better for me... at least now i can just push all the responsibilities away and say "I don't know ah,!!!!" hahaha...

long time no BLOG

2006-06-27T22:04:00.000+08:00

haha... ya ya... i know... what excuse do i have not to blog now that i have nothing to do now!?!

ok ok... what have i been doing lately??!!! hmmm... basically i was watching VCDs!!!! i was watching the "green forest, my home"... now showing on chn U...

Nice show... really... ok la... i like this kind of fairy tale like stories la... but which gal doesn't?!!! tell me?!

anyway just "tales" dun really happen in real life... but i will still like to imagine it happening on myself! hahaha...

ok... jokes aside... mth end again... siong!!

Monday

2006-06-18T23:01:00.000+08:00

haizz... after the long break from work... going back tmr!!!

Isaiah jio me to sentosa... how i wish i can go... but i know i can't... i bet my table is piling like a mountain, my emails are flooded in the mailbox...

i guess now it is time for me to concentrate back on work liao... wonder how many OTs i will work... seriously i should aim not to work OT... for all various reasons, selfish or non-selfish ones... anyway i guess @ most for the next 2 weeks until end of June, I will just concentrate on work until the mth is over... then it's time to plan for my future.

p/s: so long nvr go exercise... so tmr must go gym either early in morning or during lunch time... (dun care boss! haha..)

Outing

2006-06-18T22:26:00.000+08:00

It sure feels good to go out without any burdens!!! hee...

today i had a great day out with my ex-colleagues. Introducing... this is Jane & Hengky, we were the young batch then in our company... hee...

opps... only 1 pic with hengky... haha... cos these pictures taken by Jane... she only sends me those with me... so i lagi prominent cos i'm in pink! haha...

I dun even recall when's my last movie?? hmm... "I not stupid 2" during CNY with all my cousins bah... aiyo... 4-5 mths ago!! Horrible right?! anyway we went Coffee Club @ Hotel Rendevous before our movie...

We went to watch Runaway Vacation.... hahaha... i went without knowing what's the plot! Smart right?! hahaha... anyway not too bad movie la... won't say perfect... but ok la...

initially we wanted to go East Coast for dinner... hee... but after i went to spotlight and walk around, it was quite late... so we ended up @ thomson rd, a japanese resturant... (not so nice... i think my soba wasn't nice lor...)

haizz... the night ended not soo good cos Hengky got a summon for parking along double white line... somemore we saw the TP! alamak... haizz... nvr mind... hengky, dun worry, we'll share the summon with u!!

so long no have fun... it feels good!!!

saturaday night out

2006-06-17T23:43:00.000+08:00

a slightly different sat nite i've spent for the past 6 mths... ok ok... i know it is a bit exaggerating... but it is true ok...

normally my saturdays are very standard procedure one... wake up in morning... surf a bit net, play a bit games... then either get ready to go cg or church for ministry, then after ministry/ church svc... head home!! boring huh??? ya lor...

today is quite a standard thing... went for cg, ministry and attended svc as well... afterwhich... instead of home... i headed sembawang!!!

see... me this kind of friend where to find?! go all the way to sembawang to pick my 2 dear friends + my god-daughter for supper @ sembawang??!!! hahaha....

but no matter what... it was a great time of fellowshipping... lots of "crapping" and laughing... isaiah said in his blog abt the "not-so-nice" satay??!! hahaha... "not-so-nice" but free leh!!!! haha... free?! dun tell any1 hor.. that lady who serve us satay still thank us... before we took up our wallets to pay... she just walked away and nvr come back!!! hahaha!!!

anyway in the meantime of crapping... my 2 dear friends, joey's parents tried match-making me again!!! haizz... i got that in the noon from my CGL too!!! hmmm... see la huh!!!

ok... anyway realise joey grown so big!! my gosh... just now saw my photo on kless's blog of me carrying joey on her 1st mth... my gosh... she grown so big!!! aiyo... babies grow very fast!!!

Now... what's NEXT?!

2006-06-17T10:40:00.000+08:00

hmm... after a relaxing sleep last nite... no worries, no burdens... now the question is out... what's next?!

this time round, it is really over... of cos there is a paper which i might "ta-bao" la... but then, why worry since it is over?? haizz... whatever the results is... that one wait til later then say la...

what's next?! perhaps i should wait til results are out then ask this????

2006-06-17T00:08:00.000+08:00

YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

finally it is over!!! exams are over...

ask me how i feel now?! hmmm... i dunno le... a sigh of relief perhaps?! But really... i should "feel" more that this right?? since it is the FINAL exams... so if i cleared all, i finish my 2 years of agony!!! yeah!!! but hor... crossing my fingers la... got 1 paper.. i think might got problem clearing... haizz.. anyway dun think now la...

now all i wanna is LET DOWN MY HAIR!!! hee....

Coin

2006-06-12T21:15:00.000+08:00

a coin has 2 sides... depending from which angle we see it...

this is my revelation today... something happened... to many it seems unfortunate, a bad thing... but who knows for sure???

Loneliness vs alone

2006-06-11T21:26:00.000+08:00

what's loneliness??? What's alone?! what's the diff??? Any diff?!

OF COS! loneliness is a state of mind whereby one feels lonely, empty inside. The person can be with a whole bunch of pple having lots of fun, yet still feels lonely..

but being alone is in the reality, one person by him or herself...

recently too many things happened around me... i started questioning myself am i lonely?! Silly question right? haha... when too many things happen simultaneously around you, you will be like me... thinking weird questions...

i got my conclusion... i'm not lonely! haha... really?! I got someone who loves me so dearly that will never let me be alone... constantly i've a troup of invisible guardians fighting the war with me...

but i need time to be alone... too many issues, too many things happening... i need a time to be alone, to settle all my emotional ups & downs... just time to pamper myself!

but do not worry abt me... i'm not on the verge of any depression... thank God for tt... but just sometimes moments to be alone, to put away everything, to leave the phone off, temporarily out of reach seems quite a refreshing thing to do isn't it??? hmmm... perhaps i should give it a try some day...

communication

2006-06-11T13:09:00.000+08:00

communication is the KEY to successful relationships.

communication is an ART to master
it is not just talking.
talking =x= communicating

what's the art of communication?? i really dunno... very much do i want to have proper communication, but somehow it doesn't work... why??? how???

I'm tired of guessing... very tired...

I think i need a break... a time to be away, to be alone... a time where i can just put down all my burdens, my worries... just do nothing, see & hear nothing... can i??

COOL!!!

2006-06-03T10:05:00.000+08:00

Who says church must be dull and boring?!!!

God is not a dull and boring God... looks at the world around you, what is not created by Him???

For the past 2 days, I've been to the EMERGE Conference, truly in my heart, I know that church can be a FUN place to be in... a totally cool and fun place, yet strong presence of God!!

I've been supporting my ministry for this emerge conference... first time i'm helping in emerge actually... haha... very FUN and High stress... maciam going to a war like tt... you should come to the back before svc if you can to see how we work... pple concentrating on their laptops, pple running in & out... haha... but it is definitely fulfilling when you see the work you've done nicely on the LED...

If you missed last nite's emerge... i'm so sorry, cos the theme last nite was "CELEBRITY NIGHT"! haha... got guest appearance by Taufik, Kelly & Jun Yang!!!! Can you imagine that?! Celebrities coming to church and perform?! Wow... how cool is tat!! (p/s: for the 1st time, I was stunned when Taufik sang... hahaha... wow... he can really sing man!!!!)

But i think the funniest part was the arm westling competition (semi-finals)! hahha... arm westling on stage?! Who can imagine this in CHURCH?! YES... it happened!! Best of all, our 2 pastors joined in the fun too... For that moment, you can literally see the church going "wild"!!! hahaha... i tell u... those very religious pple will faint when they see us last nite"! haha!!!

But the highlights are really not this... but it was the strong presence of God, i tell you... Pastor didn't preach a very long sermon last nite... but the presence of God... even when i was at the back, I can feel it man!!!!

This emerge truly broke all my thinking abt how a church should be... hey friends, really do make time to come, Pastor had a series of preaching which will blow your mind... trust me... if you reading mine now... COME TONITE... Awesome message!!! Must hear!!!

Ideal?

2006-06-01T00:19:00.000+08:00

Everyone has a different idea of what is "idealness"

Have you heard of pple who says "how i wish i have a more ideal 'blah-blah'"?!

What is really IDEAL??

my question today is what's a IDEAL family?! Is there an ideal family???

When i was young, i used to envy my classmates and their families... I will asked and pray secretly that "how i wished i'm borned there"?! Frankly, to me then, the family i saw was the ideal family... but does an ideal family really exist???

Due to the recent episodes of unfortunate events that happened in my life... i've started asking "funny" questions which i never bother abt in the past...

Something unpleasant happened @ home lately... my carelessness caused some sourness in the family... thou' i deeply regret it, i was really given the chance to even explain myself... every day i drifted in & out of the house!! (haha... maciam ghost!)

a conclusion i got today... there is no perfect family... every household has its problems... but a real family is one that holds and sticks together no matter what happens.. is your family like that?!

Tears

2006-05-30T00:01:00.000+08:00

recently the weather is so unpredictable... for one moment, it is so hot and humid outside, the next thing you know the sky suddenly turn dark and moments later, it is pouring outside...

For a very long time since i last cried... very very long time ago, a friend once teased me tt if God were to collect all my tears, it will be a reservoir!! thou' it was meant to be a joke, since then i told myself i'm not going to be a running tap that cries easily... so many years passed, i think the reservoir in heaven has not dried up... but i think it has gone down tremendously cos so often i held them back...

Has my heart hardened somewhere along the way of growing up?? Or have i somehow learn not to be so emotional?? Or could it be that i've bottled everything up so much that when one day the pressure becomes so great tt everything just bust?!

I've not been blogging lately, not really becos i'm busy... just tt i dunno what to say? Say all the negative things? No... i don't want... i don't want to stumble any1... result... lesser & lesser writing...

Volcanos erupted due to the pressure underground... emotions erupt due to similar reason as well... recently i cried easily... whenever no one is seeing.

Am i in the valleys again? Emotion valley?!

God showed me a revelation, an open vision in fact...

i was like a rock climber, constantly climbing... few mths ago when i overcomed my problems, conquered the problems, i'm like i've finally reached the mountain peak which i was then climbing towards... i took a short breather... looked around, enjoy the victory and start my next journey, embark my next climb... from this mountain top to the next, the journey gets tougher... the distance becomes longer... i looked around, realise i'm in the "valley", but i saw the mountain peak which i've just conquered!!!

God spoke into my heart... christianity is a relationship, it is a walk with God... constantly we have to move on, sometimes when we are @ the mountain top, it is a great experience... but to see further, to get closer to God, we need to climb on... the way up is not easy, challenges get greater, pressure becomes greater... can we pressed on and reach that next mountain top??

God... i'm tryin my best, I won't give up. I know You'll looking after me, giving me BOLDNESS to carry on, still wiping my tears and collect it into the reservoir reserving for me... =)
Thou' i can't see the mountain top yet, I know God will be there waiting for me, millions of angels are waiting to see me finish this race...

2006-05-29T23:49:00.000+08:00

A time to weep, And a time to laugh; ...

A time to gain, And a time to lose;
A time to keep, And a time to throw away ...

I know that whatever God does,
It shall be forever.
Nothing can be added to it,
And nothing taken from it.
God does it, that men should fear before Him.

Ecclesiastes 3:4, 6, 14

Time & Season

2006-05-28T23:16:00.000+08:00

God says tt there are different time & seasons in our life..

There is a time to laugh, a time to cry...

i'm in this season of "crying"... not exactly meaning to be weak and down... just tt it is a season whereby I'm not all hype up & excited...

Emotionally drained...

2006-05-28T00:12:00.000+08:00

words ringing in my ears

Tears welling up in my eyes

a sharp pain piercing thru' my heart ...

Does any1 cares?

Dear God, I thank You, thank You that You were there when tears flow down, when anger is in the air, when my heart is so painful..

Thank you for sending me the WORD, giving me assurance tt You remember, giving me BOLDNESS to carry on when it is tough... but God, I'm really tired, really drained...

Demoralise...

2006-05-22T23:32:00.000+08:00

seriously felt so down now... felt so demoralise...

i admit that it was my fault, my carelessness... but really at the end of the day, i have tons of things on my sleeves now... sometimes i really dunno how to juggle... thou' it is not a lot of things from you, i know it is expected from us to help you...

How to cope with every expectation on me?? I really @ wits' ends liao... felt so down thru'out the day @ work, came back just hoping to seek refuge but only to find myself causing a blunder!

...

Holidays!

2006-05-22T22:08:00.000+08:00

Just read Jane's blog.. so envious.. she just went to taiwan for holidays!!! arrrgghhhh... when is my time to travel?!

seems like so long since i went for holidays... alto' not very long ago, it really felt like ages since it let down my hair, pack my luggage and go for a trip...

looks like this yr i won't get to travel liao... now can't go cos it is almost june, exams coming and most imptly... bo $$$$!! then by the end of the yr, it will be building fund season... haizz... really need a long long break and go somewhere to take a breather!! God... take me on a tour... perhaps a trip to heaven might be nice?! hee... (siao liao!!!???!!!)

2006-05-21T22:04:00.000+08:00

Pastor Kong always says this:" we do not westle against principalities, powers but against the CLOCK!!!"

How true!!! So often time just flies, whether you like it or not. The month of May is comin to an end very soon!!then come June... which means half of 2006 is gone!!!

Time waits for no one... like it or not, once times pass u by, it is gone. we are now living in the parenthesis, a part of the eternality... it is not eternality yet, so if we let it go this moment, the same thing may never come back again!!

arrggghhh... tmr is MONDAY again!!! =(

back to work...

2006-05-17T22:17:00.000+08:00

today went back to office after a long weekend & 2 days of MC... feels weird thou'! haha... had problems dragging myself out of bed...

of cos i got a lot of "concern" remarks from my colleagues... so far not too bad ones la... but how real some of them are... i dunno... but i dun really care... at least they bothered to ask! the funniest remark came from my GM! hahaha... this is really corny & hilarious!! after i came back, i logged into our e-leave system to apply for the sick leave... afterwhich the system will send an email to my GM for approval. So when it is approved, it will send an email back to inform me... and guess what's the remarks my GM put?! u won't believe it!!

His comments " Hope you are feeling better... hello hello, can you hear me?!"

FUNNY right??!! can't imagine tt came from him!haha...

anyway heard Sun's latest mandarin album song on Yes933 today! Thou' i switch on so softly, i recognize Sun's voice immediately! hahaha... it was a fast song... sounds a bit like the song for the upcoming FIFA worldcup! hahaha... tt's the 1st impression la.. i still love Sun's slow songs... got FEEL ah... hahaha

EAR INFECTION

2006-05-16T16:19:00.000+08:00

Haizz... if i can blog @ this hour, it just goes to say something is wrong with me right??

I'm on MC due to ear infection! haizz... painful le... but not as bad as if it was an eye infection (choy choy... better dun say!), at least i can still do lots of things other than this pain at my ear and tilted head whenever i put ear drops... i can still hear perfectly! thank GOD!

went to see doc yesterday and guess what, doc gave me 2 days MC for this... so can u imagine the image in my ear!?! I got a shock when doc say he will give me another day so that i can stay @ home and constantly put ear drops and even had to put me antibiotics!!! I can also visually how swollen inside my ear thou' i can't see anything... but this is not like normal pain lor... started since thu... the itch and pain... got worse on sun when even my face feels swollen... even lying on pillow is difficult... haizz..

P/s: Just poke a cotton bud into my left ear cos it was so itching inside and it feels "flooded" and guess what i saw?! a bit of blood & pus!!! eeeeeeEEEEEEEeeeeee.... OUCH too!!! =( but hopefully it is going to recover since the "pimple-like" thing bust!

Unbalanced Life

2006-05-10T00:05:00.000+08:00

hmmm... not been really blogging, today got the mood to type since i'm waiting for my hair to dry b4 hitting the bed!

wat should i say??? hmmm... if i talk abt work, i'm sure it will be nothing but grumbles and complaints... enough of tt @ work liao... dun flood my own little space with these nonsenses!

Recently my life has been really lopsided, especially the last wk of April, it was really nothing but work, Work and MORE WORK! everyday i go home in cab, get home exhausted, sleep and go to work again...

Not only i'm missing out many things in life, but every part of my life is drained out! Drained completely! I mean i dun want to put the devil up, but he is really smart... if he can't cause you to backslide from God, he just pull/distract you away from HIM!

Thank God thru' last week Rev Mark Conner's preaching on passion which enlighten me on this... i believe it wasn't too late yet!

Therefore i took leave on last fri & yesterday to prepare for my test yesterday... (my test aside), wah... to take leave and rest @ home is so ENJOYABLE! so SHIOK! so long since i felt this way! I made a resolution tt unless really necessay, i'll NOT work too late each night, of cos not compromising on my work... this will mean i got to work double fast & hard during the working hrs, but at least i got some "LIFE" right?!

May Day!

2006-05-01T19:33:00.000+08:00

May day is also known as Labour Day... a day for all workers to take a break! But guess how I've spent my day?

@ WORK!!!!

Haizz... today is the beginning of the mth, got so much work to clear, reports to submit. I so sian, got to go back to work. But in fact it is quite a good time cos no one else is there to disturb me... all the other depts are not back... only me & my manager. So less pple pestering us, can concentrate on our work!

haizz... i'm exhausted liao... :(

Battery is FLAT!!

2006-04-29T09:28:00.000+08:00

TIRED!! SUPER DUPER TIRED!!!

Sorry... M.I.A. for so long! But recently too many things happened, I'm totally exhausted by now. Nvr had been that busy before... school work piling up, work also piling up like mad and it is mth end again!

This mth was really a crazy mth. For those who don't know, I just had a new boss on the 12th April. To the other colleagues, this was a sudden change... to me, frankly speaking... i knew it all along... it was only when it is going to happen! By right, i shouldn't be saying these things, but since "rice has been cooked", irreversible fact!! My previous manager was being asked to leave. At that moment, it was quite sad really... as a friend, she is not too bad person, but when it comes to work... any1 who worked with her know about her pattern. In fact it appeared to be good news for those who had to work closely with her! Anyway don't want to backstab her, especially when she is no longer around.

Back to my crazy mth! My new boss came on board in the middle of the mth, thou' it should be less busy period, there were lots of activities going on... 3 year planning etc etc... since she is new, my other colleague is only a temp staff... really the work lies on me now! Of cos those too high level one won't be done by me la.. but those daily activities, monthly reports are enough to kill me!!! arrgghhh.... for the past week... every night i'm in office OT-ing... the claims I've chucked up for that week alone is about $100!!!!

ok... the energizer needs recharging... today is a long day too... going cg now... later going church for ministry... pray for supernatural strength!!!

M.I.A.

2006-04-08T00:18:00.000+08:00

HellO!!! have been MIA-ing for quite some time... wonder what happened? If never, it is ok! I forgive! hee...

April is a mth of "MIA-ing"!! Not deliberately la... but just that april is a super siong mth for me! Work is piling like crazy... crazy things are happening @ work, changes... changes are painful but for the better! then this mth got all the lessons and the test coming up... just had my tax midterm test!

So i guess april will be really "missing-in-action"!

anyway talked to auntie xiuyan just now, saw kless also... see them makes me feel a bit of what is it like to be a mother...

I think so often, i'm so used to my mom that i began to take her for granted... but after seeing kless, i began to appreciate more!

Parenthood is indeed a lifelong journey, a divine task our God has put in us! From the moment a life is form inside us, the journey begins... sweet, bitter, sour, spicy... everything comes!

I guess i'll never understand fully... anyway i remember something I've said very long time ago... i used to "visualise" myself being a mom of at least 2kids when i was really young... until when a very close friend of mine "warned" me of the "agony & pain" of giving birth... i kind of got "scared" and said that I don't want to get pregnant! hee...

today, I really got 2nd thoughts! hahahahaa.... but I really admire the courage of all woman, admire how my Heavenly God has created inside every woman this ability to endure all these labour pain!!!

to all those mothers, mothers-to-be: THANK YOU! Thank you for your courage & JIA YOU!!!

Stressful Life ... part II

2006-03-31T23:39:00.000+08:00

Continuation to my previous blog entry...

Just came home 2 hrs ago... lagi tired... haizz... this mth end is really crazy... tons of work to be done, so many things to remember! Dunno why but from this mth onwards, my co's HQ has increase my dept's workload tremendously! In accordance to comply with some internal controls thingy la... increase my dept's workload also means increase mine!!!!!!!!!! Come on lor... my dept suppose to have 3 persons, manager, accountant & me... now no accountant... so u see... haizz... i'm going "crazy" soon!! HEE...

anyway talking abt stressfulness in singapore... i think singaporean women is especially facing this problem! don't u think so? Women in singapore are "kind" of expected to be able to "enter the kitchen & come out from the living room"... take a look around, most modern families... how many couples are both working to support the family?!

Mindsets have allowed man to fully concentrate to build their careers... in fact careers should come as priority when measuring their "success"... but women is a total different measure & standard! I'm not trying to judge if it is fair or not... cos there is no such thing as fair or not... God has created man & woman differently. But I'm just thinking abt my future... haizzz.... *clueless**

Stressful LIFE...

2006-03-30T21:38:00.000+08:00

Is working in Singapore very stressful???

if you ask me... my answer is YES! really...

perhaps you ask me workin where is not stressful? haizz... sadly... i don't know... mayb let me go overseas to work, then i can tell u! hahaha... but of cos I want to go to the developed countries... not the developing ones! hee... perhaps US sounds quite cool!!! *dreaming**

recently my colleague has been "consulting" me regarding taking up part time studies too... that sets me to think... that piece of "paper", like it or not... is very impt. Even thou' the leaders always says that paper qualification is not everything... but it is the vital key to open everything, isn't it?

That's the sad part in life... haizz... for women, especially so... in another 3 mths, i'm going to graduate... seriously ask me if i'm excited? Initially yes.... now... not really... cos i'm considering what is my next step from there onwards??

BABY JOEY is coming

2006-03-28T21:45:00.000+08:00

Hey... Baby JOEY is coming out soon!!!! So exciting!!

Ask me why am i so excited?? hmm... dunno le..!!! hahahaha....

mayb becos in the past... those around me who gave me are of the older generation, like my uncles & aunty... so nothing real exciting cos it just another cousin... but Joey is like different... cos she is the precious daughter of my peers from MY GENERATION!!!

Besides Daddy Isaiah & Mummy Klessis are both my best pals since long long........ time ago! Of cos i also got other friends who of my generation & gave birth but really i wasn't so close to them since they got married... so feeling not there...

Anyway... hee... me will be serene ahyi cum godmother!!! hee.... (*my mom was "laughing" at me cos nowadays where got godmothers still??!!!) hahahaa... nvr mind... I'll teach joey how to call me first (after all her daddy & mummy & grandparents, of cos!) when she learns how to talk!!! hahahahaa....

Stress = Headache

2006-03-27T13:06:00.000+08:00

How to do when I'm stress??? Headaches are my best indicators!!

I HATE headaches... it feels like the whole head is going to burst. Have u felt so bad headache that u want to pull off all your hair & bang the wall?! I have!! *Sob sob**

But then i dun like to eat panadol cos it is not good to rely on medicines for headaches, besides by the time i have headache, panadol are too late to relieve the ache!!

Haizz... this wk is mth end wk...that means stress of mth end closing!!! tons of work + coming mid-term test... arrrggghhhhh.....

Back in action

2006-03-26T13:31:00.000+08:00

hahahaa... wonder where have i gone or what happened to me & my blog?! hahaha... no worries... just took a "vacation" & undergo renovation...

This season, I've very much in the color GREEN!! Nice??? hee.... dunno why but i like lime green a lot... perhaps due to the brightness of it bah...

Stay tuned ok?!